form 4 - the end

6th february 2017, i stepped into mrsm bentong. not just it, i stepped into a world full of difference. another world that somehow changed me. i met a lot of people, true and fake. i cried a lot this year. i couldnt tell anyone anything specifically about the things that bothered me but thankfully there's people who got my back even they dont know what was going on.

 

cried bcs of mpp, teachers, friends, results, a guy. nothing made me feel better than crying. 

alhamdulillah, i came to realisation that it was the efforts that were important. without efforts you go nowhere. even if i have did a lot but resulted to nothing, its ok. he has arranged everything for me very perfectly. and i learnt that its ok to cry. its very fine.

to him - thank you for being someone special this year to me, even if you werent or arent going to be mine. you noticed my feelings, but maybe there's someone else. or maybe you just hated me. you avoided me. i thought we could be friends. but its okay. you made me happy. you sang me the birthday song. you were nice to me. you were full of charisma. everytime. you looked hot as VP 1. you looked cute when you smiled. you made me go crazy. you were my type. don't forget to smile a lot. because you look good. be a soldier like you wanted. be an engineer. be a millionaire. you're fired up.

its not fair that i noticed everything perfect on you, without any flaws. its not fair. 

you made me cry a few times.

but maybe you're looking for somebody else.

to fatiha, thank you for accompanying me since day 1. without you i wont survive alone. a best friend since smkpu1, sorry if i bothered or annoyed you at times but you're the best.

to aina mardhiah, thank you for being my listener and a good advisor. you taught me a lot, motivated me a lot. thank you so much. 

to afiqah, we fought quite some times. i understood you were alone. thank you for being sweet and romantic to me. you're a true friend. i love you.

danisha, athirah, sarah, mai, janis, dania, ifaa,

sorry for not being perfect. i love you guys so much. i love you guys a lot. even if you hate me, i forgive you guys, and thank you for everything in 2017. 

and others, thank you for teaching me a lot this year. thank you for everything. i appreciate every each of your presence in my life. im sorry if i have hurted anybody in some ways, and i forgive everyone.

ya Allah, may you grant these people your rahmat.